Before I met this special person, I had no belief in God, I was scared of everyone and everything because of past chain snatch, burglary experiences. I had no big hopes or aims in life as such after leaving my job to look after my first daughter , I had a previous miscarriage and a major gallbladder surgery so it was a time when I was not on a very good mental or physical health either .
After joining her classes on a friends recommendation, I became pregnant with my second child which was again loaded with medical complications. She just said believe in self-healing, I had to believe in those genuine words and reassuring eyes. Throughout my pregnancy this yoga class and the yog family’s love and care kept me going. I can never forget the massages that the teacher gave me and tons of positive energies and reassuring words.
My hubby and me decided to move town when I was 8 months pregnant. It was so tough situation to leave the teacher who taught me to believe in myself and believe in God. But the teaching didn’t go waste. My family started to settle down slowly in the new town, when my baby decided to come out to this world a bit early. Because it was 4 weeks early , my parents couldn’t reach me at the time of the baby birth. I completely surrender my body and mind to God and that kept me cool , I did the complete pain management with just “Naam Jap” and tense machine. A friend arrived from another town like god sent angel to help deliver my baby. All the help and support that I needed for that moment came to me just like magic from nowhere. The midwife seemed like Sakshath Dhurga Maatha to me, such an easy delivery it was, and lying on my lap was god in infant’s form. He was born on Guru Poornima, and teacher said Shiva’s name would be perfect and we named him Aruban (Shiva with no roop). Such a blissful moment it was. I believed in my teachers words , I believed in God and I believed in myself and everything happened on its own. It was absolute miracle. Not only this when ever I do a complete surrender there is literally nothing on earth that me and God can’t do together, even though I have experienced this a few times, doing this every moment is the greatest challenge that I am working on.
After meeting this special person, I have changed my lifestyle a lot. I try to bring my thoughts back to God when my mind tries to go on never ending overthinking loops which actually made me sick physically as well. I would be scared to be inside the house or out on the streets. Fear has drastically reduced because she says that fear distances us from God, Why fear when he is here. I try to remember this every time I need. Relationships improved because of less expectations and unconditional love, which really surprised me, I realised that we actually expect the most from people whom we love so dearly. And that love is not a true love at all.
I let go lot of previous disputes that was going on for decades in my mind which have actually spared a lot of space in my head now, surrender everything and be free. Every time I made a conscious effort to cut my ego, I could actually see in front of my eyes that I was becoming a better person, first imagining it and then regular practice works a lot for me.
Living in the present moment while cooking cleaning etc , naam jap, keerath kar, just helped to keep my mind without any thoughts. Filling my heart with love rather than judgements made many many things easier and simpler in my life. I realised that when ever I felt uncomfortable it was only because of my own negatives and not because of others. Forgiving and forgetting have brought in lot of peace in day to day life.
This lockdown especially was a gem that I could never have afforded to have missed, I believe God has been immensely merciful on me to forgive all my sins and for giving me another big opportunity to listen to my teachers words. This lockdown especially has brought back my physical and mental health, I am feeling more enthusiastic, calm and grounded. I don’t know what is right things or wrong things I’m doing, but I have faith that god will show me the way and I will work hard to give my everything to God and remember him when my soul leaves the body.
Priyadarshini Ezhil Suresh