Gadadhar thinks, “If I was a lady, How could I realize Self?” He conveys his thoughts to Mathur Babu and says, “I feel that I have transformed into a lady.” Mathur Babu is perplexed and takes to him to his mother. Mathur Babu tells about Gadadhar and his unusual experiences. The mother says, “Mathur, don’t worry. Leave him with us.” Mother and other ladies of the house always wished to serve him. Other gentlemen and even sadhavis experienced the oneness with Gadadhar. But, the ladies never got an opportunity to serve Gadadhar amidst the strict norms of the Pardah system.
As Gadadhar meets Mathur Babu’s mother and other women of the family, he behaves like a five-year-old girl. The ladies of the house decorate him with all the pieces of jewelry from head to toe and even dress him in a traditional frock.
Mathur Babu organizes a special pooja in the Kali Mandir for ladies. Gadadhar, in the outlook of a lady, moves the fan before Mother Kali’s idol. Mathur Babu standing outside the mandir, keeps his eyes engaged in searching Gadadhar but can’t find him. No one can perceive Gadadhar in a lady’s outlook. Several months pass by, Gadadhar remains in that state. The ladies continue serving him, feeling about him as their part and parcels.
Gadadhar even experiences the menstrual cycle as a woman does. While spending the three days of the cycle, he experiences divine bliss and merges with the Unity. The ladies are in a different realm.
After five to seven months, Gadadhar perceives himself as a male and returns to the mandir. While he returns, the ladies of the house say, “Thank you, Baba, for giving us an opportunity at Thy service.”
Gadadhar asks Mathur Babu, “Could you find me?” Mathur Babu says, “No, Babu. You were hidden. Weren’t you?” Gadadhar discloses the entire episode and says, “I was the same lady moving the charmer at the altar.”
Moral: Gadadhar taught us that anyone realizes the Self, keeping the mind fixed on the Self. It is worthless to remain chained in the dogmas of society. The question does not lie in challenging or changing society rather keeping the one-pointed focus on Lord. Feeling deprived of being a female is not worth it.
Bhava is important. Its absence makes us pay. Gadadhar’s emotions made him feel like a lady and merged with the Unity as Radha Rani. Even his physiological pathways changed. He experienced both the Form Eternity as well as the Formless Eternity.
There is a mandir named Kamakhya in Guwahati, Assam in India. The Brahmaputra flows near the place. Every month, the river turns red for three days. Even scientists cannot decipher the cause behind the periodical color changes. It is believed that it is the menstrual blood flowing in the male river, Brahmaputra. Mother wishes to teach us that menstruation is pure. There is no discrimination in males or females.
Discussion during the session: Something is missing in our efforts to realize the Self? Meera loved Krishna to the climax that she realized it. We may be utilizing the Brahma Muhurta, chanting the Name, and meditating sincerely, but haven’t realized yet. We need to fight Lord with authority. We need to have authority over the personal relationship and ask him, “Lord! You must unveil yourself. I take your name and even call you from the core of my heart.” As we love our mothers, we need to portray that love for Lord and, we shall unite with him. As a mother loves, Lord loves us seventy times a mother’s love. If we leave our house, wander on the streets, and do not return home, the mother becomes restless. She tries to find him. Similarly, we are lost in eighty-four lakh births and, once we return to the abode, Lord rejoices. Mother feels happy seeing her son back home.