I wished to share my experience of Vrindavan Darshan. When all of my friends went to Vrindavan and I saw the Divine streets, I felt that I belonged to that place, my genes were engineered in Vrindavan. I was deluded from my roots for several ages, I could not recollect the jolly days of pranks and play in the woods near Yamuna. I remembered the life of Rabya Basri Ji, whose love brought Qaaba Sharif to her. The delightful buzzing roads made me feel as if Krishna was running towards me, and I was feeling clung towards the mystic magnet. ….. Vocabulary cannot support such a majestic experience.
When we land on our Mother land, breath the first bout, the dusty streets and jolly waters make us rejoice. The same happened when I saw Barsana. I felt that I was lost in a mob of time and space, and then I felt my roots, fostering in the transcendental soils. Palpitations of happiness conquered me. The view made me dumb, neither the vocabulary nor the hymns could adorn the event. I was merged with the experience. Even, at this moment, I do not have the words to elucidate it….. When I was lying down, I was feeling that I was standing at the grand main gate to Vrindavan, and my heart was calling Krishna. As Sudama Ji stood at the gate, my heart was undergoing the same fate.
I became conscious about the time zone, and suddenly found the time to be 1.30 in midnight. I was conscious about the phone call all the time, and finally the call arrived. I felt lost in Infinity.
Just before the second visit, I saw that Rama Ji, Krishna Ji and I are sitting near a well. And, in the true visit as well, in Barsana, my friends showed me the temple premises, which had a well like closet.
When I saw Krishna in the temple, I felt that He was the true Krishna I know. But, when I saw the photograph, my visualization of Krishna, and Krishna inscribed in the idol were bit different. But, I felt the true Krishna there.
When they went to Vrindavan and entered in the temple, they picked up some divine ashes from the alter and smeared on their foreheads. They even applied some to me, on phone itself. We participated in the aarti and saw Him, not as an idol, the real One. When I saw the orchards of tulsi which transform into Gopis and Krishna every night, I saw Him twice. The experience cannot be elucidated.
Suddenly, I lost the phone call. I tried again, and experienced the Darshan again. The blessings of Radha Rani and Krishna cherished my heart with Divine majestic visions of the Holy.
When we went to another grand temple, the pompous outlook didn’t allow me to feel the Oneness, as I felt in Barsana and Vrindavan. It was just like a mall, full of decorations, but empty with respect to love.
When we entered the temple premises of the pompous temple, we saw the sculpture of the founder who established it. Even, he was adorned with chandan and flowers. The gardens were good, libraries vibrated with the verses of Bhagwat Gita, the Names to Krishna were like Kripalu, indented through hedges. But, such decorations did not please me, the vibes did not make me cry in Krishna’s name. I was anxious to leave the place, and run to Vrindavan and Barsana.
The roads to Vrindavan and Barsana were outlined with old hermits, whose paints were crumbled into pieces. The senescence of the site made me feel that those were the divine historical homes where Krishna lived.
Then we saw the fields of gram. The pastures reminded me of the story of Bulleh Shah Ji, whose Guru Ji asked him to uproot the sapling from a row and re-sow the plant in another row, indicating us to fix our minds at the Divine feet, uprooting it from the world.
All day, I was anxious and conscious for the call. Whenever the call came, I felt as if Krishna was calling me. The visions used to make me cry deeply. My friends also told me that they saw me, in other pilgrims. So, I was reminded of a story, in which a man always wished to perform the pilgrimage to Haja, but always rendered the resources for the service to others. And, when his friends went to Haja, they saw him in Mecca performing Haja. I was so blessed to receive such Divine Darshan. It was the grace of Guruji which cherished my wish to visit Vrindavan. If my friends would not have been asked to collaborate such a grand visit, I couldn’t have experienced the holy gape. I thank my Guruji, for making a such grand arrangements.
They were telling us that there was an arch-like place, through which people pass. Krishna do not let his devotees, go empty handed. All kinds of wishes are granted….. I only wished for I may merge with Krishna-Oneness.
When we were young, we used to see Krishna Ji, Rama Ji and Hanuman Ji, in TV shows. I rejoiced seeing the aarti. I always felt that hindus were lucky as they could see their Lord, with their eyes. But, we saw our Allah as an invisible integrity. I always wished to see the palpable integrity. Even, the thought of Hazarath Ali made me crave for a visible perpetuity. But, the spiritual outlook rose as I began attending the sessions. I had comparative attitude. I lacked devotion, though love existed, but the love which can make me unite with the Krishna, has started descending in me, now.
These tears are not because of sadness. I lack the capabilities, to express my experiences. So, these tears shed themselves….. When they had to go to Barsana, I was about 5 hours prior to Indian timings, I was driving. And, I was in that mode of being in Vrindavan. For the first time, I could meditate with eyes open agape. I have to close my eyes, for meditation. I could visualize Krishna before me. This could not have been possible. I could remain one-pointed for a long span.
People often say that they cannot plan for the pilgrimage, or the residents of Vrindavan are unaware about the true celestial beauty, and the visits often involve lots of futile rituals, offering bhog. But, we are unable to accept the blessings which Krishna wants to give us. We ask for materialistic things, and return to the chores, with bland monotony. It was my mentor’s blessings, and Guru Ji’s, through which I could palpate the true Vrindavan, despite being several seas away from the borders of India.
I often used to think to adorn myself with ornaments and clothings, before the Divine Darshan. When one of my friends called me, the clock showed the time of 1.30 in London. I woke up suddenly, and went downstairs. They were about to participate in the aarti. We were supposed to cover our heads with a scarf. I didn’t have anything, I picked up a cardigan, lying nearby, and covered my head.
Then, I realized that Lord never sees the fancy clothes or ornaments, or cleanliness, He sees the cleanliness of mind.
When all went to Barsana, I thought to take few efforts, before I present myself before Radha Rani. Though, he never bothers about the appearance, but, still… I wore the clothings, and wore the anklets. I waited for the call. In call, I saw the streets, and holy corners. Suddenly, as they were about to enter the temple, the call disconnected. I realized the mistake, and took off the anklets immediately. I asked for deep forgiveness. I revised the true notion, of not adorning the external appearance.
When I saw Krishna in Vrindavan, I was reminded of an incident. I saw the true Krishna here, and the same one, I saw in the temple. I was overwhelmed by the sight of symmetrical appearances at several places, beyond time and space. I was left in an awe….
When all began returning, I felt that I was leaving something. I didn’t wish to go back. Then, I was reminded of the story of Radha Rani’s father and his disciple. He rejoiced seeing his Guru, but when he was about to leave, his disciple began crying. His Guru slapped him, and told him that he was always in his heart. And, he should not have moved by the physical presence of his Guru. I understood it, but I was not ready….. I trembled, for may the call never end, and my mind never dwindled again. So, I asked Krishna to keep my mind, and left the mind with him….
Beautiful experience.. I still remember during this divine journey when all friends were saying we are going to your homeland. You said very politely this our homeland. We are all part and parcel of Lord Krishna.Such a humble soul. God bless you